If your dog could talk
I know that he is jealous by the look in his eyes 
and the way he´s layin´ on his side of the bed
And by his barking when I ring your bell 
I can tell that fucker´s mad
I´m sure that he likes doggy just like the way you do 
and I bet that he is angry when I use his leash on you
But I´m sure that none of this is giving him the rest 
unless you let him jump on you 
and let him clean my mess

If your dog could talk - he´d give PETA a ring
If your dog could talk
If your dog could talk - where would he begin
Luckily your dog just bark

When we come home from dinner he stands right at the door 
and he´s chewing something with that ugly grin
And by his growlin´ when you reach into my pants 
I better not close an eye on him
It seems that he likes pussies what kind of dog is that
Maybe just smelled too much of yours 
and that´s what finally drove him mad
So hand him to the dogcatcher or I will let you down 
`cause there can be only one of us humping the hottest bitch in town

If your dog could talk ...